AHHH, Missouri

A man in Topeka, KS decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working his way east from there.

Going to a very large church he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Salt Lake, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally he arrived in the lovely Ozark Mountain country of Missouri near Springfield. Upon entering a church, behold he saw the usual golden telephone. BUT THIS time the sign read, "Calls 25 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Father, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. "Why?"

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Missouri now, and it's a LOCAL call."