I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with the basics.

How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 185.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 9," I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I'm only 5' 7".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall and skinny! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.