Q: Why did the Lawyer only have 2 pallbearers at his funeral ?
A: Because there are only 2 handles on a garbage can.
Four surgeons were in the hospital cafeteria debating over which person is easier to perform surgery on.
The first surgeon: I like accountants. Everything is numbered and organized.
The second surgeon: I like librarians. They use the Dewey decimal system, so you can go right to the source.
The third surgeon: I like electricians. Everything is color coded.
The fourth surgeon: I like lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and asses are interchangeable.