It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the
following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon
of the entertainment community-The Pillsbury Doughboy died
yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from
repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty
Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Mrs. Fields. The grave
site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described
Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life
was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as
a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children,
John and Jane Dough, plus one they have in the oven. He is
also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral
was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.